We were both sleeping and she woke up and just puked i feel so bad for everyone around us
I think I found my soulmate. This guy in front of me is yelling about getting laid while holding two beers and texting. I think this is love.
What drug did you take that made the cabinets scream at you?
I'm not upset with you; I'm upset with Fox News.
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standing in line at subway, they've got 'stand up and get crunk' blaring. the lines out the door and everyone is dancing. Lombardi Gras rules.
He made sure to throw up on the Mexico side of the border while we were in line at the check point. Then finished by screaming you an have it back. You can have it all back.
The amount of 12yr olds downtown right now boggles the mind. I can thank taylor swift for a glimpse at my future 3rd wife.
i just dedicated my kegstand to your breasts
we tried to steer you away from them but you just kept yelling 'i need dick' and going back. sorry.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My roommate didn't flush after her miscarriage. Time to drink myself blind. I need you for moral support. Or so I don't have to drunkenly cry alone anymore. Whatever, help.
It's like the bermuda triangle of cat puke
Why is there a chicken nugget nailed to my front door?
For breaking and entering. I think neighbor dan cared more about me puking in his backseat than the surprise of me waking up there
I made him dress me after we fucked. He put me in TMNT pants and then told me I looked hot.
I kinda realized titty fucking is purely for our enjoyment, they dont really get much out of it, except for a guy sitting on them and and a dick bouncing of their chin
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