I may or may not have slept in someones apt on your street because they told me I was fun sized like a mini snickers
I'm going to write a book about John. It's going to be called big dreams, little dick
okay im going to go eat, shower and find underwear... call if you want.... but ill be listenig to glee VERY loudly.
There aren't nearly as many guys masturbating on chatroulette as i was led to believe...i feel cheated
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
What's the appropriateness of putting a 50 cent lyric in my gmas eulogy?
You asked my mom "who the fuck drives four hours to sleep in a guys bed and not touch his penis"
She made me role-play everything from an older prof to a in-patient in need of a medical exam. Yay for cocaine.
They were going around the house breaking things and screaming "Not my house!"
I put bits of fruit cocktail in the jello shots i made because i knew that they were gonna be the only thing we ate all day
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude you were so high some kid was kicking the wall and you were convinced it was your heartbeat
My roommate took my designated hickey removing spoon out of the freezer.
I had to keep telling myself 'you can't be mad at him because you peed on him'
I don't remember... but puking on the bar sounds like me.
Drake has all the answers
When I woke up this morning I swear my mouth tasted like dick and rolaids.
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