After last night, I could never be a politician.
I havent dry-humped that much since freshmen year. Forgot how good it doesnt feel.
I told him to go down on me and when he did he started crying!! I asked him why and he said my vag looked just like his ex girlfriends!!!
I thought he was kidding when he said pretend to be a dunkin donut delivery women. This is the last time I ever role play.
so according the 72 facebook statuses i put up last night that i don't recall, i would say it was a success. how about you?
I think there was chlamydia in those woods.
Woke up w/ the same freshman as last Saturday but we were sober this time. Is that a relationship?
Besides. I seriously had a dream that George W Bush came over and slapped some tabs down on my kitchen counter and said "let's get juiced.". It was a sign to not get too fucked up
I am eating deep fried cinnamon rolls and I found a lighter in my sprinkles. I miss you.
I'm now drinking beer through a straw. By order of the bartender.
yeah the cable guy is coming and everybody is hiding all the pieces in the house. we are up to thirty two. like a fun game of smokable scavener hunt.
I'll just bring the big suitcase this trip so I don't have to play wine bottle tetris again.
What a better way to celebrate that I'm single by becoming a stripper and making $1000 in one night
Definitely the only person to buy 2 handles a 2 bottles of champagne & 3 thirties while wearing a fanny pack
High school drama coach is wasted and wanted me to tell you that I’m good at flip cup and you should be very proud of me
Where the hell are you
Randomize
