Dear male population: sorry for being such a dick tease but thanks for paying for my bar tab and drunk food
no seriously. she's even got the premier of the real L word on her calendar at work. that lesbian.
I won't be sarcastic... just naked
the party was called freshmen disorientation. i was just following the theme
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
critical mistake not lubing the nipples
My roommate is either deadlifting a bus or having sex. I can't tell which
Two options. One, you listen while I freak out. Two, we have mediocre to awesome car sex and don't talk. Either way, I'll be there by 7
You're like Jane Goodall in a forest of gay men. Someday your autobiography will be called "Bottoms in the Mist".
He has been feeding me cheesecake and candy for breakfast. Naked. For three days. How am I ever going to leave????
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We need to get me chipped asap
Sorry about my sloppy drunk texts. I'm not sure talking about banging a near dead Jimmy Stewart was my finest moment
I'm glad we smoked together,that was probs the biggest sibling bonding we will ever have.
whoevers yellow car is in your driveway right now... i plan to steal. just an FYI
I AM OFFICIALLY LICENSED TO BE A LESBIAN
I knew you were on something when you said you were a puppy and you ate all the frosty Paws dog ice cream which says not for human consumption right on the side of it.
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