She was like a white Oprah, but with less conviction.
I just saw the girl you left with - Chris Hansen's looking for you
Going back to college after four years is reminding me why i love cheating... they dont let me cheat on tests but they sure try hard to make me cheat on my girl
I just opened a bunch of old flavored condoms just to see what they tasted like.
She was really sick last night--but i was too drunk to bring her chicken noodle soup after the bar, so went by taco bell and got her a chicken burrito instead
He has to watch his girlfriends kitten. Even when she is in Vegas, her pussy keeps him from getting into mine.
She made me be the little spoon then she pretended to be a jet pack for an hour straight
Not to mention I think lunch is a little inappropriate when our relationship is only based on Mario kart and alcohol so far...
I didn't pop out of a cake in a speedo with diagrams
In case that's what u were picturing
I fell into a manhole last night, so there's that
I felt like the hulk waking up from a black out except with munchies
Yeah, I'm just gonna try to repress that and remember him for his big dick and perfect jawline.
Dick is the cure to depression. I'm almost positive. And cough syrup.
Remind me to never do anything where hiding something in my butt is the best course of action
There's so many drinking games in the Olympics.
you missed out this chick was licking her paddle
Randomize
