ive never been so in love with another man before, in a totally none sexual way... no homo
Do you think "I had sex with my co-worker last night I don't think I can come in today" is a good excuse?
I didn't know that people actually queef. Is this a real thing?
I believe so, yes.
Would you be offended if I asked if it has happened to you?
Just saw a white stretch Hummer limo outside of CiCi's pizza. Way to live up to the stereotypes, Alabama.
Well, according to foursquare I checked in "@under the bushes" at 3:27am. This could explain some things.
the last time i saw him was an hour he was floating face down in a pool... but i'm sure he's fine.
He taught me how to drive a stick by using his dick. He even made the whurrrr noise so I knew when to change gears.
Im dating a 38 year old who's lap I can fit in. Tell me I don't have daddy issues.
What did he say? I couldn't hear him over the sound of how awesome his beard is.
Who knows? Maybe we can sing afternoon delight into each other's genitals.
I am about to embark upon a south Boston wedding....
Hydrate.
apparently my buddy was fucking on our couch downstairs so i decided it was necessary to walk downstairs naked in a hockey mask.
i may or may not be making depth charges with cough syrup. i'll call you if i survive.
I found one of those wine glass confetti bits in my ass crack.
I'm making myself the patron saint of bisexuality
Randomize
