we did it on the carpet and she just yells out "OH. MY PSORIASIS".
so he must've not known that your lastname is Came because everytime someone would say your name he would scream "NO SHE DIDNT" to the whole party. He must've not been too good then either.
i should start naming my morning wood
great idea but wrong number
I just saw what sperm look like swimming around. I'm not happy with what you've put in my stomach.
I'd give my left nut to see you
don't do that. I like the set
He was trying to put his hand up my shirt but I remembered the coke was stashed in my bra so I moved his hand to my pants
It's never good when you wake up covered with burns
So, I'm stoned at his house petting the neighbors cat I made him steal.
You're a fucking train wreck.
Dude, you were dipping oreos in vodka and asking people to try it, "It's so good!"
No he can't help me find his house he is strapped to a stretcher facing the opposite direction
You made her yell her own name while you were fucking so that you would remember it in the morning.
Also this guy fingered me at the bar and then gave me his card
If by "Are you high?" u mean "Did you just pass out at Genghis Grill walking to your table and falceplant?" the answer is yes.
I threw up soo much that I started crying. Then his grandma randomly came in and started rubbing my back...
We're getting a bucket of chicken and screwing around, so no, you can't join us.
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