Maybe if i eat something filling like whole wheat pasta it will make me less hungry for things like dick
just found deep spiritual meaning in spongebob.... that high.
His birthday is on fathers day. I know its a cruel coincedence but this is too funny to pass up.
Judging by my dry clothes and wet sheets, I think I might have gotten out of bed, pissed ON it, covered it up, and passed out on top of it
She just looked at him and said "I'm gonna fuck that" and it totally worked.
If you see my mugshot on the news tomorrow, its not what you think
We should drive around in your Jeep on snow days and get stoned while we help random strangers stuck in the snow. So much good karma.
I am trying to take a picture of a man in a wheelchair trying to ship a michael jackson portrait
He's writing a strongly worded email to Trojan right now
I TOLD YOU THE BARESKIN CONDOMS WEREN'T AS RELIABLE.
Naw man, if he's crazy enough to jerk off on a public bus he's too crazy for me to fuck with
The hardest part about being a child of divorce is when you're at your dad's house but your condoms are at your mom's house.
This text constitutes a formal request for sexual congress under the terms of our Relationship Agreement.
If catching your vomit in my hands while swimming in a bath tub full of it doesn't make us best friends, I don't know what will
it's unicorns you uncultured swine
No, I'm not a heathen. You two are the heathens, I'm the whore.
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