We drank from noon till 5 am, there was adderall and nice jews involved it was just crazy
yeah, i liked him til i heard he had a sac that could apparently smother my face.
And that's when I found out that Patrick wasn't in fact down with O.P.P.
You look at her and you just know the only action she's gotten is from her tampon..
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Burger king has cupcake flavored milkshakes. God dammit America.
just woke up face down in my kitchen covered in cheetos. my mom just stepped over me to get to the coffee maker. hello summer
Buying a large dominoes pizza for a wasted 3 mile walk is the best bad idea ever. My mouth is on fire, probably broke my hand, and i may or may not have eaten street pizza.
How did you break your hand eating pizza?
Boxes are hard to see rocks through.
He is so amazingly handsome. I just wanna fuck every shred of decency out of him.
Immediate regret. She's like a chihuahua on crack.
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I just need to drink whiskey get off and eat some cheese. Why is that so fucking hard for god to deliver.
If he doesn't get here soon I'm taking off my thong and eating his dinner.
Why do I have a separate credit card just for booze? Because I saved enough points so Saturday we are flying to Denver to smoke legal weed and fly back in the same day.
When the bouncer wouldn't let you back in you screamed "Authority is not given you to deny the return of the king!" and ran past him.
Only thing I have going for me is jacking off, weed, and saturdays
What's the point of having a gay best friend if he doesn't play with your titties?
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