Fuck appropriateness.
I woke up on the side of the highway to the ppl in orange jumpsuits cleaning to comunity service. Not sure which freaked them out more... Finding a dead b ody or me not being dead
Why do I feel like I used to feel when I almost got caught looking at porn when I get caught looking at facebook at work
So im going to watch Hocus Pocus in my footie pajamas... How am I in college?
watching elf naked is so much better than watching it with clothes on .
Just got cockblocked by coyotes. This would happen to me.
If I don't come back from Italy with aids I did somethign wrong
You can't be mad because the taco bell people like me and not you. I'm not the one that puked in front of them.
I wish you could see how much hot sauce and broken glass are in our apartment right now.
Give us adventure or give us cock. Or cocktails.
I have words... I can't think of them tho. they keep melting together and forming you and I just want to hump it.
The plan is that you eat an edible first, then pressure your dad to do one. You know you are down.
I just baby talked my cat. While getting ready for bed... Before 10 on a Friday. I'm officially a cat lady.
Remember when we made out in a Chik-Fil-A drive thru?
I had to remind him last night as he had his arm around me, "We hook up, we don't cuddle!"
Randomize
