I just spent the night with a bunch of indian guys and i wasn't attracted to a single one. Yeah i've officially become an anti-indian indian.
Drunk in a bar in Texas. The 24 y/o hottie I am chatting up just called me a male cougar. I am dealing with this whole turning 40 thing juuuust fine.
he farted when he came. not the best ending to my day.
I don't think the people up for their 8am class were as impressed with how many beads i got last night as we were.
The KFC double down is way too much for a drunk. He was just staring at it in awe.
he rolled over in his sleep, called me a hoe and then grabbed my crotch. some things never change, asleep or not.
found glitter on my cock. thank you for bringing me to that dance recital.
I woke up in nothing but a shower cap and your sparkling coke straw snorter thing inbetween my toes. Explain.
id say bad/good trip...at first I wanted to claw off my skin... but then when i tried i ended up tickling myself for an hour.
the question is "speedos?" and the answer is "yes".
E drugging s springing. Ease dnt Kate. To t e. ess e I meant thou.
So when the drug raid cops tell you, you should get out of the relationship, it probably means its time.
LESSON OF THE DAY: Saying Everclear gets you out of explaining anything.
I was so fucked up last night that I peed on his FATHER'S BED and fell asleep there. and yes. his father was asleep in the bed
I know how to kill a man with nutmeg and a sword. You in?
Or nah
Randomize
