The Worst (noun)- 1. Getting up at 6am after a night of drinking. 2. Wearing a Peter Rabbit costume.
I have one brief flash of having his dick in my hand. that's all I remember.
Keeping my bail papers as a souvenir from when I was arrested. Too weird?
I've never had a better reason to do blow of a Pittsburgh strippers ass than to try and keep pace with my dad.
I think this breakup is Gods way of telling me I deserve a bigger dick
my coworker just texted me asking if i remember pissing in the mop bucket at the gas station
sitting on my lesbian neighbors couch, sexting, & eating a burrito.. that single
Yeah well margarita Wednesday already came twice this week and it's just now Wednesday
cassie wtf are you alive??! no one has seen you for like seven hours whereeee did you go
IS IT POSSIBLE FOR A GUY TO NOT HAVE BALLS
just used my amazon order history to figure out my anniversary. I am the most epic/shittiest bf ever...
That moment when you can't decide if you should vote for the random frat guy you have head to at the beginning of the semester for business and technology senator.
My mom is selling her car. I'm secretly relieved I won't ever have to tell her about that time you puked in it
You know she's gonna fuck shit up when she shows up in a neon wind-suit
Shower wine is way better than shower beer.
I couldn't find my hair brush so I just brushed my hair with a cat brush. I should not be dating.
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