508, what difference does it make? You were alone, anyway.
so, totally just picked up a pack of red bull, and some magnum condoms and the old woman at the register's tone went from "hi blah how are you" to "oh....how YOU DOIN'?" she knew what was up
he wrote Vegans should suck on cow dick on her wall with permanent marker. thats how he got the black eye
I just found your credit card inside the bag of chips
like in an apt above a crackhead. A LEGIT CRACKHEAD. he woke me up every morning this week asking me if I wanted to buy a mini fridge and some CDs. at 5 am. EVERY DAY.
new excercise plan: walk a mile get a bj then walk a mile home
Damn you and your Monday night power hours.
I just can't have sex with a guy who has nicer eyebrows than me
I woke up naked, with the lights on, using my backpack as a pillow and a pillow as a blanket.
Is the party worth it?
I am drink. Beer pony and singing.
Went to work in the same clothes from last night, completely covered in glitter...I didn't choose the hag life, the hag life chose me
Costco (TM). Making alcoholism affordable!
Already doing pt exercises by picking my margarita up off the night stand. Fuck yeah.
Sooo...you're driving 6 hours for free booze?
Don't judge me.
is it sad that a disney movie is making me horny?
Randomize
