For the whole 7 seconds I lasted, I was in heaven.
I can't tell whether I'm throwing up blood or licorice.
Too bad my thesis topic isn't "defining a hot mess: a study in drinking, smoking and other bad life decisions."
She bet her virginity on the Celtics. Looks like Kobe wont be the only one breaking in a new ring.
Hahaha you puked all over his shirt.
You puked in the planter and everyone saw your snatch.
Well someones bitter they didn't get any.
The only people who have said happy valentines day to me today have been 2 homeless people.
First coke bust down the road. Spring is finally here.
He is so amazingly handsome. I just wanna fuck every shred of decency out of him.
Apparently im getting a reputation for how i mix drinks. Im the midas of booze. Everything i touch turns to koolaid.
Hold on I'm doing something revolutionary that blossomed from a high idea
do u know what happened to the bottles last night?
apparently we hid them.... i google mapped the location into my phone
Good luck getting that all cat food off in the shower dumbass
I will never use my dick in anger. With great dick comes great responsibility
Straight up last night my mom was like josh you need to find a job that doesn't include the selling or transporting of drugs
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
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