thought so. i woke up and he was playing with my eyeliner. I MAKE GREAT CHOICES.
you drew a penis with ranch dressing. tried to take a picture of it and dropped your phone in it. Then made moaning sounds while you licked it off.
Just had a guy dressed only in a towel ask me for a cig, hug me and kiss me then proceeded to pee of the balcony while still talking to me and callin me baby
I am in fact going to raffle myself off for a night. If you are interested in buying a ticket let me know. $10 a ticket.
Drunk me cleaned my room for me. Needless to say our relationship has improved greatly
Dude, I puked in the stall for God knows how long. Halfway through, a kid sits down in the stall next to me and starts jacking off, i heard the porn on his phone and everything. so FYI, the middle stall is where good nights go to die
I really like your cover photo on fb that looks cool
In case birth mom friends me back, thought I should make it less drunk looking.
People were wondering why I started hanging out with him after high school, the simple answer is now that I don't see his dorky ness everyday I can just focus on his amazing penis.
I just stole a bunch of balloons from a birthday party and am giving one to each person at the bar.
She wasn't one for labels or anything serious really but while she was riding me she yelled marry me. It's like she fucked her self into commitment lmao she realy is a keeper bro
NO BABIES. YOUR VAGINA WILL BLEED WITHIN A FORTNIGHT.
Okay so the couple who keep propositioning people for threeways are def siblings not bf/gf
So are you gonna do it or no you said they're hot
I found my bra I wore on Friday night...he fucked the underwire out of it
hahahahaha
I'm one bad relationship away from owning seven cats.
Apparently I drunkenly told him I was going to ride him to the rodeo and break him like a bronco, then I stole his nachos and beer. Adulting is hard!!!
Randomize
