Black lace...the rest is up to ur imagination
my fingers and penis are no longer on speaking terms. My penis is too jealous of where my fingers get to go.
shattered his nose in 8 pieces. Blaming it on the dog. I feel more guilty about ruining the dog's good name than I do about ruining his nose.
4 girls bringing me taco bell. this is what dreams are made of.
Since i didn't have a condom I told him to use jump ship method, I think I was overly invested in my sailor costume this year.
I'm in the sex attic, crying, eating french toast and taco
No no no no no no.... That's my emergency bottle for when I realize I've hit rock bottom
For thanksgving we are only drinking wild turkey for the next 24hrs time to strap your balls back on and maybe a helmet
Ps we bought 8 pellet guns just now
I poured somre cereal, realized the chocolate to flake ratio was off, tried to fix it by digging through the box, gave up because of the difficulty level, and poured it back in the box. Being high is the best diet.
I spent $31 at mcdonalds last night. Threw my nuggets all over the yard, ate them out of the snow, picked a fight about it, vomited, then passed out.
Naked.
Also lets pinky promise right now that we will NOT play "Pony" outside of each other's rooms if we have a hook up over
After we had sex he gave me a thumbs up... fucking A&M Aggies, man
first he passed out on the toilet...then hugged it and screamed no no no as i tried to pull him out
I climbed to the top of a stripper pole and touched the ceiling. Accomplishment?
I looked into her soul, didn't I?
You eye-fucked her soul.
Randomize
