listening to techno makes your hand move faster while masterbating
what are u so afraid of ive smelled ur poop before
Is it bad that when my prof gave examples of "stalking" behavior, I either have done or would do most of them?
i can't tell if you're serious or not, but 420 is gonna be pirate themed
you know you made it when your beer pong table is made from imported italian hardwood
Just erased 'masturbate' from my mental To-Do list because I've got too much stuff to do. I hate adulthood
All she kept whispering was put your pickle in my mouth. Then she fell out of her barstool and chipped her tooth
So if I tell her fire is hot and it will burn her... she's probably just going to keep throwing her vagina at it huh?
THIS IS A FLATMATE WARNING! The white powder next to sink is washing powder I spilled and is not meant for human comsumption. I repeat- do not digest, snort or smoke the white powder next to the sink!!!!
Waking up at a teachers house is a very confusing thing
You don't know scared until you've just begun the first stage of an acid trip till a guy on stilts with a creepy mustache and beard says "enter the Forrest"
He said did you just interrupt me midsentence to admire another man's penis?
According to timehop today marks the 3rd anniversary of my 1st blackout
I'll be wearing lingerie and holding a bottle of bourbon so pick up whatever food you think goes with that
I was just seen throwin up on the bookstore building near a trashcan by parents. Naturally I throw a thumbs up and say go college
Randomize
