I am doing a scientific study and i need a brief description of the underpants you are wearing
It took you an unbelievable amount of time to realize that your ass was on fire.
i jus got home and totaly forgot i had nut all over the back of my shirt
..im mad u rememberd about that
Do you think my job would send me for a second drug test if i took a whole pumpkin pie to work for lunch tomorrow?
On a side note I think I burnt my eyebrow when we "teter-totered" into the fire
Excuse me hold on, hooking up with someone who is verified on twitter is like being important.
Im going in through the window and borrowing her dog. Dont worry ive done this before. we have an agreement.
Making drunken Mac n cheese at 3 am I understand why witches constantly stir their cauldrons. Much more homogenized temperature and slim chance of boiling over. Good job witches.
So the " I'm gay but curious" thing worked. You owe me 50 bucks.
My fall semester strategy is to submit my papers with a nude selfie
You've got post-grad studies written all over you
I feel like every man should aspire to get a blowjob from a sword swallower.
my entire left arm went numb
you need to get that checked to make sure you're not wired to have strokes instead of orgasms
New drinking game idea: Take a shot for every republican you see on facebook bitching about the ruling.
I'm going to blow a ton of money on sex toys just so I can tell you to do better than them.
I woke up remembering only that I got pulled over by a cop, then looked over and found that same cop, naked.
Randomize
