I just got called an ass for saying no thanks to a Greenpeace solicitor. I don't want the whales to die but I do want Greenpeace to fail. Conundrum.
Ps what kind of horrible ppl are we that we both checked blackberries during sex and neither minded?
don't get me wrong, i love how you're fun and free spirited. but there are some situations...like shooting down a bottle of sambuca standing in the shallow end topless surrounded by my friends
since we're both too lazy to go to each others house, you drink there, i'll drink here and we'll skype. it's the same thing.
its impossible for me to find something that fits my tits my muffin top and my ass all at the same time
I literally put my pussy on his sideburns, it was awkward
There's a lil minaj in everyone
theres chocolate ground into my couch, nerds candy all over the floor and cocaine on every surface. great memorial day weekend and yours?
Please come and kill me with a brick you dont even have to be nice about it just smash myfucking skull in this is the worst hangover ive had for at least a week
I didn't even know this guy existed until he'd had his hands down my pants, so I just went with it.
Well, I was asked to leave the Waffle House for "being to physical" so I think that option is off the table
The struggle bus has heated seats and stops at Dunkin on Friday mornings so I'll be okay.
I AM A SEXUAL NIGHTMARE
My brothers dog was hit by a car and died. They're really sad about it.
But they're having a baby! It's like a dog only 40 billion times worse!
I mean, he’s listed as “Andrew DC Threesome” in my phone. THATS HOW I REMEMBER HIM! How is that not the start of a fairytale?
He had a tattoo of the Batman logo around his asshole. I noped right the hell out of there.
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