is that paris hilton dressed up as the guy from star trek who hosts reading rainbow
Yes i believe i did use that word. It culminated in a man wearing a corset thigh highs and stripper shoes. All mine btw.
She just told me she's too full for a reach-around. Sad.
any interest in drunk sledding later? if not, any interest in driving me to the hospital later?
Oh wow. Was walking and just saw her in the pool, fully clothed, ranting on an alligator float. I guess i should go get her before security gets here.
We attempted to microwave fifteen corndogs in the microwave and may have ruined it. Also there were fake mustaches on all of his appliances...he said he doesn't like drunk me.
judging from the number of limes and box of kosher salt on the counter therell be 8.5 gallons of tequila drunk this weekend.
sounds about right
Last time we talked he was trying to sext me but he was including pictures of fruit
Things you Cant unsee: When your smartphone syncs to your dads laptop and downloads photos...including his porn stash.
Well it's like a wise man once told me: "If you're going to shave your balls, don't do it hungover."
Girl, we were harassing people from the top of a building. I don't know how I got down, but I'm eating chocolate cake in my kitchen. Sall good yo.
I hope a pyrotechnic goes off in your asshole and seals it shut for life.
Me too.
No I don't. You owe me sex and cinnamon rolls.
After the 2nd person threw up, you told us that your 'mint shooters' were just shots of mint mouthwash
Apparently I was carrying around a bottle of listerine calling it 5 loco
Randomize
