i want tt clbm rinabw nd ride uncrn
what?
i wnt tto climb a rainboww and ride a unicornnnnnnnnn
my fingers and penis are no longer on speaking terms. My penis is too jealous of where my fingers get to go.
He wants to be 'in an open relationship'. Fuck that. That's the online equivalent of letting him pee in a circle around me.
mom and dad googled us on the weekend. i love the internet less than i did on friday.
I just don't get it. Video games don't suck his dick.
He posted on my wall. Idk if I'm ready for that big of a commitment.
Um. That's my cat Laura. You put my cat in your mouth, and then you put my cat in your purse.
You were talking about masturbating on the phone then said you had to go because golden girls was on then you called me back saying you seen that episode already.
when I went into his room, he was sleeping on his stomach, almost as if to silently say, "you're not touching my dick tonight".
If you can get her to make out with you without paying for it, I will personally make you president of the american lesbian league
It's like a harem of immaturity and bad ideas...and that's coming from me
Cuz I feel like I ate the whole candy isle at 7/11 last night and chased it with rum
You pretty much did tho
My mom has had 5 shots of fireball today and she's still functioning normally... She's just extra polite.
Stop getting drunk and running away. I can'tell chase you. Iim in heels and have big boobs. Running is a bad idea for me.
Dear in laws. I am not spending any holidays with you. I dislike your company. A lot.
Randomize
