Maybe I'll tuck it in and pretend to be a woman pretending to be a man that is attracted to women that are attracted to women who look like men
it was really awkward..i thought he had two dicks, but later realized it was jsut his roommate
He legit pounded my cooking wine, because he was to cheap to buy beer. He is so not getting any.
3 things I learned last night: 1.) I'm not as light as I used to be. 2.) Sex on the roof of a convertible is a really bad idea. 3.) The hospital now has super glue pens for sealing minor cuts instead of stitches!
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Katelyn drunkenly ripped the soap dispenser off the wall so we decided to call it quits
It was so weird. She left to go to the bathroom and her older sister leaned towards me with a creepy smile and said, "You don't deserve her" and then continued to stare at me with a crazy expression for the rest of the evening.
That's kinky shit dude.
He just kept repeating "not with an octopus" over and over for hours. Soooooo Porn Dare was a succes.
Had sex with him again...yikes. and the whole time he kept saying "i wish we could do this forever." Forever lasted about 45 seconds
I sent him a picture of my boobs instead of saying good morning. I'm trying to tell him how I feel in a language he'll understand.
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Just found the last picture of me as a virgin. Framed it.
I think my sex life is about to turn into a war on two fronts
Every Easter every single one the baby Jesus butt plug comes up
do you think mom is upset that i left with the stripper from her bachelorette party last night?
And I think she just drunkenly ordered an ipad. she said it was so pretty she couldn't keep it "locked up" because an ipad has to be let free.
I’ve basically been controlling him with my tits for months now, so I can’t even imagine what would happen if I start banging him
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