i hate sounding clingy, but i just wanted to verify i wasn't an asshole in your mind
i'm in hospital, i have an exam in 3 hours and the man in the cubicle next to me is doing a noisy poo. this has to get better.
Its like common courtesy of dating, the guy pays for the weed, just like dinner
I hope i woe up in your car, or else i stole someone elses and slept in the back seat
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
do you think the bartender judged us for asking for shots of well vodka and water chasers?
I wiped my blood on their walls screaming "IT'S NOT MY SECURITY DEPOSIT!"
The last good decent convo we has was when I was trying to convince you to let me watch you pee.
I ended up with bruises on the back of my knees. Tell me again how I did this?
Gas station champagne. And before you say anything I'll have you know it's imported. From California. So get fucked.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Update - might be back in your neighbor's good graces. She liked the framed photo I gave her of me on the tractor with my business out.
When ur uncle gives you free weed, you take it
2015 is the year I FINALLY ALMOST had enough dick to satisfy me.
One of the finest moments in my life was when I was puking in between my legs as I was shitting, and thought to myself "hmm this shall be called shomiting."
The tamale guy is fucking with me, I wanna sleep in he wakes me up; early wake-n-bake and he's late and I'm hungry
And I broke things off with Justin last night. Except I texted him while he was asleep and then I was like well, that's probably not what he wants to wake up to, so I sent him a picture of the coconut I microwaved and caught on fire when I was really high one time.
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