Dude, just walked by a homeless guy pissing on the sidewalk while he was screaming at his wang. God, I love this city.
Are we still dressing up as garden gnomes for halloween?
No. I would like to get laid again before I graduate.
something about eating while taking a crap just doesn't seem safe to me.
I think I'm cybering, it's been a while and its more in depth than it was in 8Th grade.
apologized to him about 10 times for being drunk. told him about 15 times that he was "really pretty"
Um....sorry for hooking up with your brother last night...
Actually i take that back. You dropped the whiskey last night and broke the bottle. Were even
Like if there was an award for best way to take a girls virginity, he would get a standing ovation. And first prize. Probably a bunch of roses too. That good.
I'm not considering your visit a success until we've fucked every cock in the ethnic rainbow...between the four of us we should have it done by x-mas
CORAL IS FAR MORE RED THAN HER LIPS RED
Oh god you're Sonnet 130 drunk, aren't you.
Dude, it's not gay. It's winter.
Why can't people give useful wedding gifts...like sex swings or Nutella?
I'm taking a dab in mourning of how long its been since I smoked with you guys.
I plan on blacking out and milking a cow
I’m getting reeeeaaalll tired of telling cute boys I gave them chlamydia.
That’s two in three months. You really know how to live.
Right now I'm laying face down on my carpet in my living room in the darkness sending work emails from my phone.
It's a glamorous life.
Randomize
