If I remember correctly, I may have been smoking a cigarette on the dance floor. This is the true sign of a douchebag in his native habitat...fmylife
party started at 10. cops are coming to shut us down now and its 11. i already lostmy underwear and im wearing a sparkly thong on my haed. this has to be some kinda record.
we're microwaving frozen margaritas its not the same without u
I feel like someone was just looking at my memory and took out an eraser and was like "nope he doesnt need that"
She had her laptop open and there was microsoft word opend and all was written was "no italianoo"
and i'm pretty sure he drank the lava lamp
I got my project done and a booty call in all before 1am. I'm a professional college kid.
Competitive oral. I'm always telling girls they are only the fourth, maybe third, best blowjob I've had. They go back down with something to prove.
I'm not sure we can use safewords tho. She smokes so much she had to keep asking what the safewords was. Bondage and bongs don't mix
Note to self: remember to figure out whether melted cheese is a liquid when not stoned
His name was Kyle but I insisted on calling him baby Jesus all night and then we did a line and he bought me Taco Bell so idk
I just dumped the bloody coke bill into the tip jar while getting my hangover coffee. I'm literally going to hell.
should i feel bad about fucking you on my front lawn the day before you set me up with your best friend?
I've had way too many dicks in my mouth the past two weeks. Ready to go back to school and be a doctor now
She was blacked out at her own party. It felt good to stand next to her while she laid on the floor and say "vomit does not look good on you."
Randomize
