If a girl drunk dials you she's at least entertained the idea of sleeping w/ you correct?
YES
Courtney? Is that you? I have pictures of this very same night.
I want to leave work and go home and eat Five Guys and masturbate
They need to add a relationship status option on fb that says "having the baby of..."
Just used the D.E.N.N.I.S system successfully.
how much land on farmville do you have now? i sold all my shit to make room i need more money... these animals need to know I'm running a business not a charity.
ironically, his detergent was also "small and mighty"
you walked into the kitchen holding the skyy bottle and asked us "how do i warm this?"
i just saw some one pass a baby through the drive-thru window at dairy queen.
I don't care that you fucked her. I'm offended that once again, you fucked someone with me in the room because you assumed I was asleep.
Was there a Canadian at your party or did I dream that?
You peed up the stairs in front of everyone then blamed it on the dog
So what's the moral standing on reading gay porn on your phone whilst sitting next to your 87 year old Grandma?
i fell out of the car and didnt spill my drink. come overrrr
truly a win in your book
He kept telling me that it stood for Sex Utility Vehicle
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