sorry I missed your bday party.,I was vid chatting with that new guy I'm talking to all night...happy biirthday though
Hey man sorry I got all grabby
I'm in the mood to be taken advantage of ;-)
What are you talking about? And how drunk are you?
Both
One of my bosses just told me she's having communication problems because mercury is in retrograde this month. I think she's serious.
Great. I get laid, Leslie Nielsen dies. I can't have have sex anymore, the film community can't take another loss like this.
He legit asked if he could come over for a hug. I feel like I've been booty called by a 12 year old.
We fucked to techno music while he wore shin guards... best sex ever.
well the blowjob for study guide exchange was a success.
Whatever, consider condoms an eighteen year investment.
I could probably save all of the money I would have spent on condoms and put a kid through college.
I'm high and I have a consensual booty call on the way and just thought that it was a good time to let you know that I think that you are a stellar person.
He just texted me saying "you've got a face that suggests you give really good head". Is this a compliment? Do I say thanks?
I just text my one night stand Happy Easter on her way home...now would be a good time for the lord to smite me.
I mean I only got hit in the ass with ONE firework
I'm not saying it wasn't great. I'm just saying sleeping with a gassy, depressed,45 year old mother was a different experience. Would do it again though.
Randomize
