we have officially lost it.
I had new employee orientation at the YMCA today. I showed up with a hangover, a black eye, scratches down my arm, and a sore throat from puking gin and keystone.
i walked in on him listening to enya, jacking off, and vomiting into a cup on his desk. are you serious.
i have a strong feeling i fucked one of the waiters here...
So i do have strep. My apologies to the british guy from this weekend. You now have one more reason to hate america
Yea my vagina was pretty pissed at me for not taking advantage of the situation...
I think I'm going to make a pina klonopin before class.
I wonder if they'd let me siphon the gas out my car before they impound it
And I'd make him talk dirty to me. In Forrest Gump's voice.
Do you think we could brew coffee with beer? I'm thinking a hazelnut Guinnesspresso can only end with pure awesome.
you walked onto the street in the middle of the 10K in your thong. it was a whole new kind of expirience.
DAMMIT Im supposed to be running a company not discussing dick piercings!
Well its official, I'm into significantly freakier sex than even I thought possible.
with great strapon comes great responsibility.
So it turns out that a Ford Focus does not fit in a Walmart cart return.
Randomize
