I dont know whether to be proud of myself for not driving, or being proud that i was so messed up I couldnt drive
Oh i forgot. I hit on a mentally challenged girl too.
You better have your party panties on Saturday!
Why only Saturday?
Well I have an AA meeting Sat morning so I'm going to try to take it easy Fri.
Woke up next to a half eaten California burrito. It was tucked in.
Dont even bother asking why she was dancing with him on top of a door, let alone how the door ended up being used as a table.
So I just saw Jonah Hill at LAX and decided my fat fetish is back
You should go to counseling for that
Apparently william has a "couch montage"...an album of facebook photos of himself on different couches in various states of happiness and despair. A heartwrenching journey through what was clearly a significant part of his life. I'd mock him more but I think the fact that I looked through it means he's already won
Can we go to Home Depot next week? Drunk Kim broke my toilet with a hammer.
Ok! I picked up an anti-celebratory bottle of champagne on the way to dinner for her going to rehab. That's how I feel about this...
This drive is very scenic
And I'm chugging whiskey in the back
As you should, soak in all this country has to offer
Wow dude wow that's sad man so sad. I dno't event wanna massturbate anymore due to teh sadness
Keep two things coming: nudes and puppy pictures
I found my bra I wore on Friday night...he fucked the underwire out of it
hahahahaha
You know shits really hit the fan when you start using public bathroom air freshener spray as perfume
what? where are you?
Of course he did! You’ve seen my tits, you know he didn’t stand a chance!
Randomize
