Should you consider yourself out of control when everyone at the party is cheering you on while you're puking, and on the last heave you act like you're rolling dice right before the finale???
thanks. im glad you find me better in your comparison between me and fat girl porn.
since you saved your number in my phone as "the hot chick you met last Friday" I don't know who you are either
There comes a time where you just have to sit back and watch the drunken idiots pee on each other
First thought today, I need a ventriloquist dummy that looks like me. This week's project has been determined.
it was a frathouse cornucopia of foul mixed drinks and "sangria", which im convinced was blood and pcp
He's just giving off this "someone be a bitch to me" vibe
I know it's early but when you wake up can you please validate my life and tell me I'm not just a drunk idiot.
YOU CAN'T JUST DO COKE AND THEN CALM DOWN
I don't believe in coincidence. I believe in the stars aligning perfectly to sodomise me in public. Who ever said I was cynical?
I'm about 95% it's a collapsed lung. Go big right?
Some toppless girl just walked past me in the hall and gave me half a carton of smokes. I have never been more aroused.
There was a point where you were singing "Friends in Low Places" to yourself while Juicy J was playing so I got worried.
Mom just walked in with a bag of weed and funyuns. I'll talk to you later.
Your participation in the democratic process makes me horny AF
Randomize
