i pretty much saved your life. you were so conviced that your nail polish remover bottle was "Vodka Lemon"
you wouldnt answer to anything but devil's advocate all night.
Took his v-card last night. Yet another experience I didn't expect to have in my thirties.
You tried taking his shirt off at the bar. He was 37 and married with kids.
I've awoken at 3am again, in a night terror, just thinking about how big his dick was.
I just made my roommate a 'Hope you don't have chlamydia' cake.
Make one for john too.
You straddled the banister and fell down the stairs, then proceeded to crawl back up them, I think you need to lay down
I distinctly remember calling the anesthesiologist a "sneaky little bastard" directly to his face
It's official. This guy and I are going gay for each other. We're tasting the fucking rainbow.
I just almost said to a customer "P as in Pussy"
I was so drunk I got stuck in the middle of a revolving door
Dentist appt at 2pm get milk poured on my tits by 2am
A marvelous 12 hours
Like he was cock blocking and it usually takes ten cocks to block this cock
I'm sorry I walked in on you guys, but all I heard from outside was her screaming "Dive, dive!". Sex was my last guess for what was going on in there.
Enjoy your early 30’s! You’re still young enough to catch a twenty something that can fuck 4 times a day, hot enough to date forty year old penises that can last long enough to give you multiple orgasms
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