I miss him.. What the hell did I get myself in to? I guess it will get better with time.
No. Just liquor. Time's no good.
Tipsy and thinking of you. Talk tomorrow. My alliteration is awesome.
Oscar is the man. He keeps getting pictures of hot nude women with messages in spanish saying "i hope you like it" sent to his phone
whose oscar?
the baller who i guess decided to give out a fake number at the bar last weekend. luckily that fake number was mine. i have enough porn to last me until next month.
the bouncer made me realize that puking in line does not get you in any faster
It's like that depressing moment when you drop your cocaine in the snow.
I saw you sitting on top of my car trying to row back home... Did you make it?
Hickies on top of my hickies. I need a leash and/or a positive female role model
you should probably know that there's a naked dude in your window
i wouldn't normally say anything but you seem to not be there
Yeah..I guess you know your hair looks like shit when TSA asks to inspect it
I have walked into stripper central, but I'm on the street at 1:00 in the afternoon
You came running into my room at 4 in the morning yelling "SANCTUARY!" and flung yourself into bed.
Hmmm, sounds like a Jaeger night then. Did I at least get to be the little spoon?
I also tried to hide a bottle of vodka in a build a bear last night so that something that happened in my life
my morning attempts to try to have sex with him was interrupted by the passion of the christ parade going on outside my house
A dozen fresh-baked cookies delivered to my dorm AND I don't have chlamydia or gonorrhea... Could this night get any better??
DONT YOU DARE YELL AT ME. YOU'RE THE ONE WHO TRIED TO PAY FOR THE CAB WITH YOUR PANERA REWARDS CARD.
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