any plan I had today of being a productive member of society, I am officially throwing out the window.
Would love to except that I crashed into a hearse in a funeral procession about an hour ago so I think that pretty much put an end to my day.
I just got while a charlie horse while orgasming...most confusing feeling ever...
I just want you to know IcyHot in the ear is weird. Don't ask.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you really dont want me to drink and drive. you saw what i did to my face and that was only from walking
The ratio of how much he pisses me off to how much sex i get just isnt working out for me
They reenacted the scene from the lion king where mufasa talked to simba from the clouds. As high as they were they got it word for word. There has to be an award for that.
Picking up hoes with my dad is going to make it a little harder, but ay, if thats how he wants to bond after 23 years, Ill give it a shot
Is it too early to start a donation jar for my 4th of july hospital bills?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I really hope your new roommate never finds out we had a threesome with a bisexual British guy in his room the night before he moved in.
Moral of the story is go have sex with a foreigner and report back to me.
I feel like I'm going to get the reputation of being the girl who brings her dog with her to all her random hookups.
I was cracking open beer cans, throwing them off the roof, and yelling "FRAG OUT!"
we got stoned then he started showing me how to make his penis look like a hamburger...if that's not true love idk what love is
Accidentally made a straight guy question his sexuality again. I really gotta watch myself.
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