I can't believe believe she called me a slut. She doesn't know anything about me or my life.
Shit, that's something a lot of sluts say.
We named our party play list daddy issues
This is much more drunk than i was intending for a wednesday
I love online classes. Spent the last part of my lecture taking apart a teabag and filling it with weed.
You pointed at his crotch then made a thrusting motion. I think it's safe to say every guy at my college loves you.
I am drunk at a castle and it isn't even 3. Europe is amazing.
For future reference "bring our litter sisters on our date day" is not such a good idea
I got shot at last night. Lesson about married chicks: learned.
Went to a wedding reception last night, came home with a Christmas tree and the rest of the keg
I actually have to watch Breaking Bad to make me feel better about my choices last night.
If you take a post shower shit just get back in bed. You're better off starting your whole morning all over again.
Frankly, since I met you, I practically exist in a state of constant readiness for sex
Is "I want you to destroy my insides" too forward?
you're hired as official boob wrangler
He couldn’t find my clit with a map. Literally. I drew him a map.
Randomize
