I will come over but only if I don't have to take my sunglasses off for it
pop tarts are not kleenex
We asked "Is that Andy puking in the bushes, its 7 AM" he looks up and goes "It's okay guys, its 7:30"
It's sad that my net worth at the moment is 4 beers
I don't know where I am and I feel like a hippo shat in my mouth. This sofa is comfy though.
never underestimate the power of walking into a bar alone in uv cat makeup.. took home a seven foot man
True friends don't judge, they just try to have more booty calls than you do.
It all went downhill when I figured out I could launch myself into people with my crutches
When we were done he got down next to the bed and I thought he was Tebowing. He was hitting a bong that he had already loaded and hidden under the bed.
I wrote an entire paper in under an hour about The Nightmare Before Christmas. I was also high as shit and pretty sure I dedicated half the page to the animation but still.
I just want him to get into an accident where he's horribly disfigured but otherwise fine so he's not so freaking handsome
Why were u walkin around mc with a toilet bowl lid handcuffed to u and carrying a stuffed Teddy bear last night?
sober me needs to have more faith in drunk me.
Between falling off a shelf on to a concrete floor and sex with you - i may never walk again.
Lately I've been very attracted to Kevin Jonas because he's like...less hot than Joe, but he's this healthy mix of both Joe and Nick. It looks like he's finally growing into himself.
Randomize
