i wanted to iron the shorts i'm wearing. but i'm high and lazy. so i'm using my hair straightener. in bed.
Journey is playing on the radio....I think it is a sign I am going to pass my drug test
Are we still dressing up as garden gnomes for halloween?
No. I would like to get laid again before I graduate.
It didn't go so well. He got drunk and asked my dad if 'front or back' virginity mattered more.
i go for whatevers easier....i'm bisexual strictly due to the convenience factor
i also performed surgery on a chicken burrito from what i can tell from my scissors
Yeah, well I just made $600 while taking a shut cause two diff clients called while I was in here. Tell me being a lawyer doesn't kick ass.
put me on a leash or i'm going to fuck someone
She has the perfect pussy. Looks like a paper cut with a puff of cotton candy on top.
Sometimes I get in situations where I realize they think I'm smarter than I am and then it's just one more thing I have to fake.
I'm about to be a big disappointment.
but how can he casually chat with my father 8 hours after asking me if i'm a screamer
Honestly I really just want to do you in the mail truck. Thought about it a lot today
I woke up on the floor with 2 cartons of cigarettes, a box of chocolate bars, and a business card for a man named Larry. Don't remember him, but if the Rols on his card is his, I might throw him a mouth party...
I realize that my conversation topics seem to only be about bees and my cross dressing fiance. Thank you for being my friend.
I can tell that I'm high when listening to celine dion becomes such a life changing experience
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