Think the blond can even spell "shiksa"?
I just don't understand how my upright asian catholic roommate is getting more than me.
I think you missed the wrong class. Im pretty sure we were taught how to buy cocaine.
i just realized i put more money and effort into 420 then i did for christmas
I should start riding the bus again so I can drink all day
We're pretty much just dating until one of our ex's wants us back
My life is over. I farted in open court. Noticeably. The judge looked at me. It echoed.
That would be an interesting position... Not entirely certain how that'd work!
Gravity is no match for my libido
A part of me realizes this is a bad time to text. But I override it with my awesomeness
I haven't included my nuts in a shave since the Shaq/kobe Lakers era. I gave my self the ol full court press in order to change the tempo.
Yeah, I'm just gonna try to repress that and remember him for his big dick and perfect jawline.
I am so sorry. Not sure for what, but whatever I did last night probably merits an apology, so I'm covering my bases.
So help me God.... if he sends me a dick pic.... I will make it so he has to eat food through a tube in his nose and poop into a bag by his belly button
i really love you but i feel kinda dumb about it
the orange of my hangover Tang is hurting my eyes... my coworkers knew it was hangover Tang too.
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