Your girlfriend is a south jersey whore
my mom noticed the "toothpaste" stain on my tshirt...she repeatedly attempted to get it off by licking her thumb and rubbing it. See Jenn it obviously doesnt taste that bad...
areolas are like halos for boobs.
but he used his one phone call to call mom and wish her happy mothers day, that's gotta count for somethin
The theme is smores and alcohol. Dress appropriately.
She said she didn't want me watching her give me a bj, so she proceeded to make a "blowjob igloo" out of blankets...
she gave me one of those friendship bracelets and said as long as I wore it it was like an all-access pass to her vagina
SHE GRABBED MY FULLY ERECT DICK IN A BAR AND STUCK HER TONGUE DOWN MY THROAT AND I COULD NOT CLOSE
Was I asleep on the ride home?
Yea, then when I tried to hold your head up on a turn, you round house punched me in the face.
A group of drunk Marines just serenaded me, never leaving this place
By the way, do you realize that you asked me how much you could get for your eggs last night. And once you learned the price said that you had plenty to share.
Ok despite the fact that both you and I love dick we could have a great marriage
having flashbacks of licking salt of your dick for my shot of tequila
Alright, I've had enough of this good girl shit. Tonight you either blackout or backout.
cant one of your roommates drive you?
You came in my eye once. You owe me.
ill be there in 20
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