I was totally willing to let her keep giving me blowjobs as long as she didn't think we were in a relationship.
keep it on the DL tho cause i dont want it getting out and it coming off like i kidnapped her or something
I just walked by that girl who tried to commit suicide over me in high school. That was weird.
you were watching the nanny crying, saying I wish I was that thin eating twinkies. THAT DRUNK.
Im about to shotgun a beer using my mother's knitting needles. home sweet home.
A-plus on my thesis. I deserve the blowjob to end all blowjobs. And I wanna wear a crown while you do it.
I'm having horrible flashbacks of being groped by Pauly Shore.
We were fucking at break-dick speeds.
They figured our he was high when he told the manager he wanted a break to go wrap his dick in toliet paper and pretend it was a ghost.
He was twisted. Literally. It's like God took his dick with a pair of pliers and gave it a half twist to the left.
I had sex on a dinosaur comforter, tell me that does not define my life.
I'm just concerned as to why his penis is two different colors.
Thank you for stroking my rage monster tonight.
I cant tell you how much harder a belt makes hoeing
I might be getting fired on this week so the only option i see for tonight is to get smashed and have an orgy. actually this idea might explain why i'm not an ideal employee.
Randomize
