and we just had intercourse last night so i'm exhausted, fucked up on adderol, emotionally broken and just pissed
its easy. just sleep with a bunch of guys until one falls in love
Maybe we should try and tone it down a notch. The neighbors changed the name of their wifi network to "i can hear you having sex".
she screamed "my eye!" and it brought me a surge of bad memories. except she was yelling about a lemon.
it took you forty minutes to realize it was a gay bar.
I offered you a bag but you said "I gotta break in the new carpet" and you puked all over the floor
Life for us students isn't all fun and drunken lesbian affairs you know
She was drunk and naked on our couch, sweating and masterbating to SNL. We made eye contact and she didn't even stop. It's new-roommate-o-clock
Thank you for FINALLY joining the Slutasorus Rex club in this conversation.
I hooked up with a lesbian tonite. Top 2 valentines experiences of all time.
On a scale of zero to "unmitigated disaster," how drunk is he?
Also...I'm semi-dating the drug dealer that took me to bible study
I don't get it. Why have babies when you can have vodka?
My tinder date had to be home by 8:30 cause she's on house arrest.
There's a guy masturbating in front of Sephora right now
Randomize
