So she puts out... but it wasn't worth it
i barely touched his dick and all of a sudden he yells, "BONER!"
we used that portable toilet as a cooler to keep coronas. next person who tells me hospitals arn't fun needs to come party in rm 180.
i think i will get a tattoo on my butt that says "im not bluffin with my muffin", but i guess if i was serious, i would get it above my c-section scar
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i just heard someone have an orgasm and then throw up through the vent in my room.
No.. It's totally over.. He deleted the poke I sent him.. That makes it official.
Very nice. It looks like a Fisher-Price My First Dildo, but still very nice.
Then he told me he was proud of me for remembering that i blew him that night.. Maybe my drinking is getting out of hand.
he couldnt get it up, so i stole his lighter. i needed to have some reason to say the night wasnt wasted
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I thought he put a fake swan in my yard, but no, he put a real life swan in my yard
So ive come to the realization that my affinity for tattooed guys makes me the literal definition of tit for tat
40 year old guy made out with me last night while I had French fries in my mouth
did you make it home?
i'm in a room and it looks like mine :)
hahah close nuff if it isnt
Her vag MUST be made out of starbursts or something equally as delicious.
I just thought I should tell you that I always know what you are doing. Everywhere. Every time. -Your loving Mother
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