why do they call them blowjobs? ....unless i'm doing it wrong?
mmmm my 21st bday fucking sucks all my best friends are pregnant...selfish assholes. they just couldnt wait til after my bday.
Is licking assholes a new fad or something?
I just woke up with the words DO IT on my hand and six beers in my purse.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i was concerned by what you said you would do for a snickers. It wasn't even a Klondike bar.
I havnt been this mad since the coche de Los murtos incident
He dumped me and I don't wanna fuck his best friend for revenge. Is this what maturity feels like?
She fell asleep on the sidewalk and people starting using her as a hurdle
The Russian stripper asked if I like foreign girls. I told her I absolutely fucking hate accents. Most awkward 7 minutes ever
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I like the wholesome side of you
I'm so goddamned horny I could use all my pent up energy to tear a redwood out by its roots.
If it makes you feel any better, I'm eating a block of cheese...
I think you just miss his friendship.
I think it's his ability to give me multiple orgasms.
Things were going really well until his cousin showed up. She told him I look kind of like his mom, which started a ten-minute debate on my and his mother's specific features, and ultimately, who is prettier. Guess who my date picked.
Its that time in the evening when I've had a few cocktails and wish you'd make a video about the packers and Jack Daniels.
I'm a delicate orchid of a man.
Blossoming into a fierce dragon.
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