let's bang
You're in my phone as 'Weird Bus Guy' so I think my answer's no.
Fucked her within an inch of her life. Seriously. Don't choke bitches when they ask. Was way too drunk to be pulling that shit.
He came on my chin and called me cumbledore. i give up.
I would have done it. But then again I am a starving student who can manipulate my brain into thinking my decision was somehow morally justifiable.
We didn't want to make a pit stop so I just helped my husband pee in a bottle. No one told me this was part of love.
I sold him an eighth while trippin balls wearin my girlfriends tutu and tube top. and i was talking about albinos the entire time
well, he defiantly picked the right guy to buy drugs from
as i sobered up i realized that her cute accent was actually a speech impediment
We were drunk having sex and I knocked over her bedside table/fish bowl and she jumped off to check if her fish was still alive but she made me pasta so it's cool
She said she was sober from drugs for a week. All I heard was Kenny Loggins singing Danger Zone.
He sent me a dick pic. I am fighting the urge to send him a "sorry for your loss" card.
Some guy just walked past the bus stop in a lab coat and with a samurai sword and case...
He makes bad life choices and drives a wagon, how is that not my type?
Oh my god, my vagina is cursed. He's cursed my vagina so that no one but him can maintain a boner around me. I'm sure of it.
He's such a jerk. If only his penis was attached to someone else
I'm too horny to sleep. I need some violent sex to wind me down.
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