oh my god i am going to vomit. and little burgers wearing crowns are going to come out.
Haha, just learned changing others iPhone passcodes is fun while drunk but not fun the next morning.
So I purposely left a bunch of metal in my pockets so that the smokin hot TSA officer would give me a pat down. Airport security just got fun
i just remembered last night waiting for you to pick me up wearing my bra on my head to protect me from the rain
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Watching water boil has never been so amazing. I love wake-and-bakes.
I don't remember anything but yelling at the ref in Spanish.
I don't remember what you were saying to me in the bathroom. But whatever it was, yes, because i remember nodding a lot.
Laying in bed nude eating a Big Mac with a cat. It's gonna be a good year.
i could've stared at her spine forever man..she was so deep, and she made a drink out of vodka and organic mangoo shit. i will find her and present that goddess with some fucking gummies
you're no longer allowed out of my sight at parties
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Wellp yesterday was spent absurdly hungover and today was spent in planned parenthood so I hope that's not an indication of the year to come
Well sort of got busted by a cop while having sex outside, so your call
So, if you were also having sex around 11pm, then we were legitimately being penetrated at the exact same time. That is amazing. We are soul sisters.
Remind me to tell you about this weekend with them. It was the least fun I have ever had drinking. And I have thrown up pork and beer through my nose on the side of the freeway.
apparently ive been in a long term relationship for the past 1 1/2 years w/ out knowing
Me and my dad hot boxed a hotel bathroom... That's what I call father son bonding
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