Three 40's of Mickeys, is no excuse to be naked at Baskin Robins.
Did your dad mention the fact that you asked him for viagra at 2 in the morning?
You expect me to find someone in two days who I feel comfortable enough with to ask them to get drunk and go play in foam with me?
Please tell me why your entire hallway smells like microwaved condoms.
the dj asked me quote "are you sure you're sober enough to do this?" And I grabbed the mic from him and said "ill fucking show you sober- HIT IT". I also dropped the mic at the end so he had to come around and pick it up
Shania Twain would have been proud
Did we pole dance in front of my boss last night or was it just me?
He follows more cats on Instagram then he does girls.. That's how you know your boyfriend is whipped.
HOLY SHIT. I JUST FOUND OUT THAT THE KARL/RORY BASEBALL FIGHT THAT RORY LOST WAS 2 YEARS AGO TODAY. RIP KARL'S DICK.
No, I'm just drunk and was excited cause a hot stranger bought me tacos.
I am actually offended he hasn't asked me to sleep with him yet to get better grades...I wanted the whole college experience.
I'm still, like... really stoked about not having any STDs
Drunk me started making nachos apparently but never got to the part with the cheese. There are chips everywhere
I feel worse lying to the guy I hooked up with than I actually do for cheating on my bf
That wasn't even sex. That was a fuckoning
...did you just create a word for what we did?
Everytime after he came, he'd laugh uncontrolably for ten mintutes. He was sober..
Randomize
