look to my right... shes dancing like she's playing dance dance revolution and her character is a retarded, drunken moose
You drew a self portrait of yourself on his wall with sharpie.
I woke up naked in my own vomit. Not even in my bed. No one is happy.
I had his cock in my mouth and he still wouldn't shut up about Star Wars.
Just found a hole in my wall with your left shoe in it.
Thanks for the drunken voicemail of bird calls. Love and miss you, too.
He's in the hospital yelling at his brother to at least have stuck something "normal" up his ass.
Again?
No more jager for that guy. He jacked the neighbor kids big wheel, rode around making jet noises, then passed out behind the wheel and rolled it and broke his wrist
Peeling duct tape off of my dick is definitely one of the stranger sensations that I've experienced.
does doing it on an automatic sink count as shower sex?
why am i naked
you took off your clothes at the party and some guy took them home
I think the lady at jack in the box started crying when we put in our order.
The first thing he said was that my underwear smelled like Trix but then he looked up at me and whispered "Silly rabbit, vagina is for me."
Just had the biggest masturbatory crisis ever.
What does that mean?
Internet is down.
There's a big ass bed, hella ecstasy, and I can guarantee you'll regret every second that you remember.
Randomize
