After I talked about my ex for about twenty minutes, she just listened, sluts are so understanding
I just miserably failed my own drug test. At least I know what a positive will look like when I give them to the employees tomorrow.
I'm in class. I'm not opening a page with the words "death erection" in the link. There's people behind me lol.
whiskey dick. though we did manage to break my closet door and flood the bathroom.
The one wearing a viking helmet and holding a bottle of Smirnoff. She's laying on the floor of the tube singing "cant find my way home" . You can't miss her..
Note to self: semen does not count as food to take medicine with
i think when the guy sitting in the corner singing tells you you're too drunk, you're too drunk.
There was no eligible dick at the ER. I'm pissed. Looks like "Searching for Strange at the Local Free Clinic" is a no go for the name of our first full length album. On the other hand, I got a dilaudid shot and I no longer feel like I have the worst bladder infection of my life.
Im like a hedgehog. Easy to corner or get within reach, but tough to get right close to. Like a rooster with its feathers surgically replaced with razors
Saw the same Luigi I hooked up with last Halloween. Still in his same Luigi costume and scruff that hurt my face
I just want to drink cheap wine and throw my bra at an aging singer songwriter
His crazy is a thing to be cherished
You used a fucking bud light like as lube last night. I'd get a UTI test like stat.
Where'd you go?
Laundry, im. A responsible drunk
He was a foot taller than me and my hands were bigger than his, it's called Pity head
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