yay, now i'm not the only homewrecker.
yeah but i stopped sleeping with him after i found out he was married.
dude she's married.
so? a ring don't cover no holes.
I think he liked me better when I only opened my mouth to suck his dick.
I'm walking down the street with a Starbucks in one hand and a flask in the other. People seem to have a staring problem
Let's turn this shoulder dislocation into a positive. Come to the hospital, bring some beers, let's party.
he threw my burrito on the ground and said im too drunk. fuck that guy.
it was all good until he screamed "for fraaannnceee" on his last thrust
Nothing like puking into an empty cooler at a red light on the way to get plan b.
It was fun, but I mean, any day that starts with shower tequila is bound to be good.
Our lady landlord called. Dot worry, I handled it. Drunk. Tell her it was Nate. Done. Good. Bye. Drunk.
I'm tellin ya, let the nipple get some air, they'll hire u on the spot, lawyers love a little nip
He drops f bombs like every other word and he just gave me 127 shares of tmobile stock for free. I feel like I should pay him back in blow jobs or something.
His crazy is a thing to be cherished
Rome wasn't built in a day - my bedroom skills weren't obtained in some boring monogamous relationship. Same thing. Right?
See I am maturing. I just got in from my DRIVE of shame......
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