I wiped a tear off her cheek with my boner. It cheered her up
they ran out of ice so they are using frozen shrimp in their drinks
You don't forget tits like those, even if you are vegas drunk.
And then she apologized after the blow job for being too sick to deep throat. I'm in love..
You flooded my bathroom while trying to construct a hot tub. All three of you were completely naked.
The couch is in the bathroom. I don't understand how that is even possible. I couldnt even fit that shelf thingy through the door. Come help. I am about to pee my pants.
I HOPE YOURE READY TO KICK SOME SERIOUS ASS AT TRIVIA NIGHT TOMORROW NIGHT. also, i hope the birth of your niece goes well. BUT MOSTLY TRIVIA NIGHT.
My mascara kind of smells like tequila to me...Is this my body crying for help or asking for a shot?
playing nyquil roulette. it entails taking shots of nyquil and hoping it doesnt kick in during sex or in public. game on.
is leaving the club to fk in his friends van subtle?
I have experienced an excessively hairy ballsack in my mouth...and it was horrifying. I keep feeling it in my mouth now. It's like hairy ball PTSD.
I never realized how weird our shower smells until I cracked a shower beer and had a familiar aroma to compare it to.
Thx for last night. I've never had so much fun while being told my life decisions are questionable at best.
I was so drunk I got motion sickness from sex.
What's a really polite way of saying "you have gravely overestimated the value of your vagina?"
Randomize
