she was hot for a redneck and i dont look at teeth
i hope when i become a housewife i'm more of a gretchen and less of a vicky
So I fucked that hot french guy last night
You do know he's the one who threw up on our table, right? You get to clean it up.
Her father's a cardiologist, her mom's a lawyer...she just went from a 5 to a 10 real quick.
mom and dad are asleep. time to fish my half-full bottle of wine out from under my bed and give this christmas visit a pick-me-up.
"half-full" seems a little optimistic for the turn your night is taking.
Between the hair pulling and the choking its its more like combat than sex
Sorry I have an "Operation Iraqi Freedom" fantasy
He gave me an orgasm before we even reached 2nd base, everything he did in high school is irrelevant.
I had to put a towel over my laptop because the little power light was too bright. New hangover low.
Doing lines of coke through pieces of licorice. Because I can
I am the girl who goes to bed with her make-up on so that she doesn't have to fully redo it in the morning. I am obviously not ready to be a mother.
How does that even work?
omg his dad is hot
... I'm currently away at the moment. Leave a msg since I cannot express how much I can't help you stop ruining peoples lives.
you threw me on the ground pryed my purse out of my hands screaming " I JUST WANNA HOLD IT A LITTLE BIT". later i found you putting on my lip gloss.
You licked my eyeball, you are officially cut off. If you just missed you can have a second chance on Friday.
You tried to prove you weren't drunk by loudly singing the romanian national anthem. Why the fuck do you even KNOW the romanian national anthem?
But really, what kind of hoe life adventure in Mexico would you do that would top me blowing a trucker?
Randomize
