She was like a white Oprah, but with less conviction.
why wash my dick in the morning if you're not there to suck it?
Let's roleplay tonight. I'll be drunken diva and you be sexy sober.
IF that's your way of making me dd then count me out.
Just a heads up: The party is Fourth of July themed. Spread the word
dude its may
Work with me here, man.
ill be fine wheb you get back. I'm gunna do real world things like washing the dishes. having to perform serious tasks brings you down.
I just ran into the married chick you banged 2 years ago at our apt! She asked me if I could get her coke! Memories bro. Memories
You made out with my dog and told me he tasted like a rainbow.
I just bought 7 working mopeds off a guy for $300. We are 60% of the way to our gay biker gang dream.
I think that's why god made me a woman. Bc it's harder to slap people in the face with a vagina.
When I say "is it a bad idea to do Mollie before an 8hr shift tomorrow?" I dont want to hear the truth I want to hear you encouraging my bad decisions
Sex followed by chicken and waffles... Hands down my favorite morning plans. Count me in.
We were drunk having sex and I knocked over her bedside table/fish bowl and she jumped off to check if her fish was still alive but she made me pasta so it's cool
Ps. I'm slapping the bag. It's an emergency.
Let's celebrate our country being screwed by screwing.
I just peed on myself the semester has officially began.
Randomize
