its good for cellulite if you don't wear underwear. its true
An ad on my facebook says "don't be THAT girl". Its like it knows.
I just saw some girl with the liscense plate "OBVIII"...I never wanted to get in a car accident so badly.
HOW DID YOU GET DEPORTED FROM THE BAHAMAS
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
did you not get the photos of the finger bruises on my ass?
He got a new tattoo in prison. It's actually a good tattoo, making it that much harder for me to hold out until he's off house arrest.
He woke up, yelled "RALLY!" and then puked in my glove compartment
I came home wearing somebody's thong. If you're missing one message me privately.
I feel like shit, and I can't get the band aids off my nipples.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Woke up to your boyfriend in my bed last night. What's that about?
I love the barter system - he got laid and I got him to bring me some ibuprofen. A win-win really.
My joke about liking my coffee like I like my men IS ABOUT TO COME TRUE.
As a courtesy going forward if you could not bang in my house that would be nice
Can u pick me up? Lost my keys.
Sure. FYI- you "lost" them on the roof, trying to throw them over the house.
I almost suffocated in that mask but she kept calling me Jeremy so I kept it on.
Randomize