Remember when you weren't going to be a shit show?
I must say, I don't like the act of throwing up, but the feeling after is quite delightful
Found a barbie with nipples. Life is complete.
i've been fucking this guy since february and just found out he might be uncircumsized. currently google image searching to confirm.
My vagina has become a graveyard for my brother's friendships...
dude she was givin me head and stops and looks up at me and tells me she loves me, then goes ''alright now cum in my mouth''.... pretty sure shes the one
I am trying to think of a way to make alcohol cupcakes
Even worse we were making a sex tape so our reaction to the condom breaking was recorded.
My dad found me naked curled up under a towel on the couch with a fucking tub of butter and a spoon. Ambien Mondays are dead
Are the transvestites working the counter tonight? Last time I was there they gave me love advice.
it was like fucking a Mumford & Sons song
Oh dear. If we're both hearing alien sounds then perhaps they're real.
For a man with no legs he was surprisingly good at doggy style.
I don't know whether to high-five you or stage an intervention.
Now it's a thing. He's kind of a creeper and now he's lotioning me. This is going to turn into a Buffalo Bull situation.
They should invent shampoo and conditioner for sex hair. I would buy all the travel size ones.
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