I am going to give you the keys to my place
Then I'll give you the keys to my heart
Gag me
I just accidently tagged myself in the picture of the 16 year olds spreading their legs in bikinis. Failure.
Just got my period. I'm not pregnant with Scott's child and I won't be having any sex tonight. This must be what they mean by bittersweet.
ur penis kinda felt like a vagina to me
I just mistook a monk for someone with the newest colored snuggie.
As soon as I saw the video camera and red light on, I started rolling my eyes when he would put it in me and telling him maybe his dick was too small cause I didn't feel anything...trust me that tape is going nowhere
I'm about to take my first shit since thursday. I'm scared. pray for me. If I don't make it, tell my family I love them.
I literally told her "she's a sandwich I'd like to make" and that's all it took
Random pof guy just messaged me initiating a Pokemon battle. Want to be a bridesmaid?
I went to an 8am hookup in another guys sweatpants. Who is the really player here?
Oh dear. If we're both hearing alien sounds then perhaps they're real.
Rolled over in bed this morning and found Nutella and wet naps. Why can't it ever be a fire fighter, or Jude Law.
I woke up in the bathtub with money shoved down my pants. I must've done something right.
I am in the parking lot of CVS in Auburn. I think a truck full of Plan B and regret just arrived.
He just looks like he'd be good in bed. He looks like he has a lot of anger built up in him and all I'm saying is that if he took out on my vagina I'm cool with that
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