eating taco bell the same day as formal = probably a bad idea
Just stepped in shit. Not sure if its mine or the dog's. Get some of our friends on the way back from work and just have the intervention now. I will totally understand.
She brought up feelings... her days are numbered
I might scale it back and go as an investment banker. Which is the exact same costume as James Bond on LSD. I just introduce myself differently.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You're going to the beach with me so we can have beach sex whether you like it or not. Get over it. Kthx.
He was dressed as ron burgundy and his pickup line was "dont worry, i wont make you jump in a bear pit."
Everyone is now just referring to it as "the night Hannah couldn't get laid" so needless to say you didn't miss much
Just saw the guy I slept with last night in a bar. He gave me a high five and kept moving
Also, my phone suggested the phrase “puke in the mailbox" how many times have I had the need to text that to people?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have a corndog on my dresser and a trashcan of puke. Thanks for a great night!
I'm stuck in a tree and request your assistance ASAP
Probably yeah. I mean maybe one day we can be those friends that hang out naked. Not awkard at all.
I have the liquor shits and this time, it's personal.
Wanna bang and Pregame work? I know you're the manager just promise to not fire me
If I don't get alcohol poisoning from tonight I don't think i ever will.
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