Someone shit on the floor
Why does it say "go to Planned Parenthood tomorrow" on my dry-erase board?
i may or may not be hanging out with a boxer who has a daughter tonight. and he just spelled "honestly" like "onistly". He has prob taken a few too many hits to the head but he's hot at least.
so she bought me lunch gave me a blowie then paid for the gas since I drove... I think there's a catch but I'm gonna run with it
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She gave me a blow job and her mom gave me blueberry muffin afterwards. I love them.
she demanded that I make her breakfast too so im in the bathroom cooking bacon with her straightener
Inquiring minds want to know if your Bf is circumcised
My booty call just put me down for a reference for her job at the hospital. What am I supposed to say? She gives great bj's?
I'm going on a valentine's date with the random guy i hooked up with in the bar bathroom this weekend...i feel like julia roberts
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My first drink last night was a 2-liter of jameson and coke. So hung over it hurt to put my pants back on
Come over, we're having a tea party. And by a tea party I mean we're drinking whiskey from tea cups.
Wake up. Pour coffee. Open blinds. Guy is skipping class and jacking off furiously to Asian porn. Close blinds. Finish coffee. So this must be what med school is like.
I even got my dealer to make gluten free special cookies ;-)
In the middle of our bar crawl last night we stopped to pet dogs at a dog park. who would let a drunk person bet play with their dog???
ITS THE CIIIIIIRCLE OF SLUUUUUUUTS
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