Just got my rental car in Iowa...gas is under 2 dollars in des moines...this is not a real state
I made out with a fat chick last night in a hot tub... btw I am breaking up with you
Let's just say there is a bloody hand print above my bed and it's not mine. Literally.
I woke up naked on the bathroom floor. the tile grout marks on my boobs hurt, i mananged to use a roll toilet paper as a pillow. never again. did we eat salad?
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I think the best part was when you jumped over me naked.
We were just talking bout putting on helmets and going fo a car ride just to see how ppl react. I will def fit in here haha
I was going to text him and apologize but I didn't want him to think that meant I approved of him being my niece's booty call.
The world isn't going to end because you slept with him!
... that would be easier though.
After this weekend, it looks come this holiday season I'll be walking in a winter abortionland.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I BIT YOU IN THE DINING ROOM. I bit you and you crunched
Exotic beer tasting at my apt right now and by that I mean I bought random beer and I'm drinking it on my balcony
I ran into my boss at the liquor store on our lunch hour we both just stood there awkwardly until i was like your car bar or mine hahaha we both need a cab
so at 3am I stumbled into my parents house and crawled into bed with them, I need to start dating.
Just beer bonged through a snorkel, add that to the list
He's my blizzard buddy. We're blowing lines and doing a 3D game of thrones puzzle
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