dude did u upper deck my toilet?
haha like two months ago
i cleaned the bathroom like ten times before i realized what the smell was.....i hate u
Come see our sink grown plant.
and his room smelled like strippers, childrens tears, and fear
While you were puking in the ocean I was rubbing your back saying "Just give it back to Mother Earth".
It must be illegal for me to be this drunk in front of this many children
Why did I wake up holding food tongs?
Do you think I can wear the dress I went to jail in with the shoes I went to prom in to the wedding tonight?
Pizza delivery...for when you need to eat your feelings for the sex you aren't having
Pavlovs bj experiment 2012. Welcome to the program.
Why did you make me get in the car with you and then not give me a ride? I woke up in a bar with a blanket on me.
I just went through the Wendy's drive thru only wearing a towel. My life has hit an all time low
Should probably stop going into the gas station to look for the most normal person to hitch a ride with to drive me to a party
11:30pm - Shots together. 12:15pm Shots together. 12:45pm Shots together. 9:30am Plan B's together.
So today the police came to my dorm to look for weed, i didn't have any in the room, so i let them in. they apologized for any inconvenience and then left after finding nothing. then i realized i was wearing gauges with weed leaves on them lol
What's the weirdest place you've ever had sex?
I don't think you're psychologically prepared for this conversation.
Randomize
