I just remembered yelling "they're gonna let me be a lawyer! Me! Why would they do that?"
i really wish i had a remote for my computer. its all the way on my bed while im across the hall puking my brains out to enya. not cool.
He was going nice and slow, then he yelled " BOONNEESTOORRMM!!!!!". I can't walk straight.
I think she just stepped in a piece of mac and cheese, picked it off the bottom of her foot and ate it.
It's like she can't drink without using a flambongo
According to the red cross, I'm not suppose to do anything strenuous for the next 24 hours. That means you're on top.
And now I'm drinking leftover wine in the grad lounge because fuck my life
So not the biggest tits he had his cock between. He could have lied.
Really stoned me is having a very serious, intent conversation with my mom about egg rolls and koolaid flavors.
Just found my glass of wine on top of the litter box. Every argument ever is invalid.
We're about to play the try not to vom at the president's house game...
Smoked a blunt with my dad then introduced him to cinnabon delights. Today was a good day.
It happend again, swimming on the floor... Vodka is my friend
Just got up.... With the club stamp on my ass.... How did it got there????
Let's be real, he was never going to be tall enough
Randomize
